As most of you might have guessed, I am extremely manly and rugged. I mean, I take two baby steps out the front door and throngs of people point at me and say, “I don’t know what’s wrong with that crazy, horrible, strange man, but isn’t he...
The other day I was lounging about in the backyard swamp while intermittently playing with my array of prize-winning alligators. Suddenly, it occurred to me that by installing the swamp, the resale value of the home might be adversely affected. What to do? The first...
I went to the library today, astonished they still existed. I was equally astonished that my dog was also allowed inside. He quickly wandered off, so I mosied over to the front desk to stand before the classic caricature of a Librarian: spindly, pince-nez bifocals,...
My dog entered my office this morning with the usual dour expression on his otherwise adorable face. He sat down on the recliner across from my desk, pulled the side lever up to elevate the footrest and stretched out his legs. His snout emitted a deep sigh, as though...
My dog entered my home office this morning and sat down. He casually crossed his legs as though prepared to engage in a nice long chat. He then gazed about the room slowly in undisguised distain, before eventually shaking his head in apparent sadness. He’s been known...
My dog impatiently asked me when my next top mystery books would be coming out. I perked up and said, “Soon, maybe early next year. Why? Are you eager to read it?” He answered that he wasn’t but just wanted to know when to leave the planet. “Listen Dog,” I replied...
