The other day I was lounging about in the backyard swamp while intermittently playing with my array of prize-winning alligators. Suddenly, it occurred to me that by installing the swamp, the resale value of the home might be adversely affected.  What to do?

More Alligators!

The first thing I considered was adding more alligators. This this might cause perspective buyers to overlook the small detail that the outdoor patio was entirely submerged at the bottom of the swamp. If I fail to hoodwink them, they may decide this condition could hinder their barbecues.

Licorice Sticks

I carefully mulled over the matter for several seconds before hitting on the perfect solution. I decided to go to the grocery store and purchase some licorice sticks. My plan was to hide them in strategic areas of the swamp. Then, any perspective buyers would be completely engrossed in searching for them. Once they tasted these delicious morsels, they’d be so overcome with happiness that they’d meet or exceed my asking price. Sounds like the solution to everything – right?

Where Did They Go?

I purchased some cherry flavored licorice, thereby putting my plan into action. I next brought in various real estate agents for a tour. After the tour  they’ll suggest an asking price.  Fom there I’ll plant the licorice and schedule an open house. However,  once each realtor entered the swamp, I mean, backyard, I inexplicably never saw them again. Despite thinking this was extremely rude on their part, I finally hit upon an alternate plan.

Illegal Use of Yard

I was trespassing, thereby I didn’t actually own the house, and therefore could be arrested at any time for illegally installing a backyard swamp, I packed up my prize-winning alligators and moved to the Everglades.

It was like taking your dogs to live and frolic in the country.

If you enjoyed this little tale about my adventures, perhaps you’d like to lean more about me. To do so, click here. What’s more, if you seriously wish to learn more about our fine big-eyed friends, you can travel to the Brittannica Website by clicking here.