About Me

The Biggest Selling Author in the Word Takes a Trip

My name is Ryan Janz and I’ve not posted my photo on my website in the fear I’ll be recognized. Then I’ll be mobbed by crazed fans. Let’s say I’m walking my dog down Main Street, USA, and the unthinkable occurs:

•  I am breathlessly asked by a passerby to autograph my latest publication, my captivating novella, A Baseball Story. But since I’m the biggest selling author in the world, I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.
• He doesn’t have a copy, or as he put it, “I’ve never heard of your stupid piece of trash, and you frighten me”.
• I give him one I happen to be carrying in my wheelbarrow.
• He doesn’t believe I wrote it. Yes, me, the biggest selling author in the world.
• I produce my driver’s license for proof. I do cover my picture so as not to be recognized and therefore mobbed by crazed fans.
• He threatens to call the police because I claim I’m the biggest selling author in the world. What?
• My dog insists we leave, so I immediately lower my baseball cap because I do not wish to be recognized and … etc.
• I hear police sirens, but while hiding below my basement trapdoor my dog decides to move out.
• While perusing a book chock full of fun survival techniques, it occurs to me I don’t own a dog.
• Having read how baked rat can be transformed into a healthy snack while overthrowing the government, a dog howls in the distance, reminding me it’s time once again to collect my wheelbarrow and rejoin my best friend for a pleasant walk down Main Street, USA.